Yeah, I feel a little better this morning. Still no sign of my period, but the scale confirmed I have definitely dropped into a new weight decade, and that’s nice. I didn’t lose, just held more or less steady, but when the inevitable, if slow-coming, menstrual bloat hits, and I bobble back up into the previous decade, it won’t be so horrible, because I got two days in this new one, which to my mind, means I’m probably done with the old decade. This makes me happy.
In spite of how crappy I felt yesterday, I stuck to my regular meals plan, and ate very well. And you know, it did make a difference in my general level of hunger. After dinner, I didn’t really have much of a desire to snack. I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch, in late afternoon I had about a cup of a quinoa-sweet potato salad I’d made, and then I had one of those Pizza Express Margherita pizzas and a Granny Smith apple for dinner. That sounds like a hell of a lot of food, but actually, it only came out to 1400 calories. And my nutritional counts were really great; I was only low on D, E and calcium, but my regular supplements bridged that gap neatly. And, more to the point, I felt as if I’d eaten just about enough, and any hunger pangs came at expected intervals. I wouldn’t say I felt great, because I was feeling lousy for other reasons, but food wasn’t a problem.
So that’s one day of data, but the difference was immediately noticeable. I don’t think I can easily be one of those people who do the six small meals a day eating schedule; I like my three squares and a snack, but yes, eating at regular intervals over the course of the day has a lot to be said for it.
Of course, it’s now 10:00, I’ve been up for two hours, and I still haven’t eaten breakfast. Billy will be home in an hour or so, and I’m about to put a loaf of bread in the oven, and I have some potato-leek soup in the crock pot, so I will be eating soon-ish anyway, even if I don’t manage to get around to making breakfast. I just can’t eat first thing in the morning. All I can handle is a cup of coffee and a big glass of water with my vitamins and psyllium and calcium supplements.
By actually listening to my body, I’m beginning to discern a natural sleep cycle. I seem to want to go to bed about 10:30-11:00, read and unwind for approximately and hour, and then fall asleep around midnight. Depending on how much I’ve drunk before going to bed, I then sleep until either 2 am, or 6 am, when I need to get up to pee, then I come back and sleep straight through until seven or eight o’ clock. For somebody who’s suffered from insomina for the better part of twenty years, this is really good. Lack of sleep is frequently implicated in obesity, and I am trying very hard to get enough rest. (This is where my nasty inner critic usually pipes up with something like, “Yeah, fatty, your problem is you don’t rest enough, you lazy bitch,” but fuck my nasty inner critic.) Getting enough sleep is making a huge difference. I don’t suffer from nearly as many severe headaches/migraines as I used to, I’m not as depressed, less likely to lose my temper over stupid shit, I don’t feel as fatigued, and I’m not getting that weird late evening energy bounce after feeling exhausted all day. And, also, if I’m not awake, I’m not eating too much, so that’s a definite improvement, because I ate a lot on those insomniac nights. I think the longer nights this time of year probably help, so with any luck, I can have this new, healthier sleep cycle firmly established by the time we’re getting more sunlight.
I don’t just want to be thinner. I want to be healthier, and there’s more to it than just losing weight. I accept that there are plenty of fat, healthy people, but I don’t feel like I’m one of them, and weight loss is just one, admittedly very important for me, part of being healthy.
Tags: food, living healthier, sleep
